"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain."

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain."
- Kahlil Gibran, as quoted in a favorite book of mine, "The Shaman's Bulldog."

I still don't understand why sometimes, but I hope it's somehow true. I've never experienced pain like I did two months ago, so I'm pretty sure I have a cavernous chasm just waiting to be filled with said joy.

I've never seen anything like the outpouring of love and emotion I saw the days leading up to and including my losing my Grover. I had no idea he was so beloved by SO many. Everything happened so unexpectedly and my dear friends and acquaintances and total strangers held me up as I had to make the worst decision of my life. I will never be able to thank every single person enough.

I'm still pretty much a wreck. I'm crying typing this. He was my absolute best friend. I lived my life around him. He got me through the darkest moments of my life. He was the most amazing creature. And I'm so lonely without him. My house is silent, and I feel like I have no purpose in life, and I swear that emptiness is making it all WORSE. I haven't even been able to go through all the photos I have of him - though I plan on putting together a giant tribute once I can muster the strength. ;) Be forewarned and stock up on Kleenex.

Before Grovie passed, one of my best bulldog friends had puppies. As many blog readers know, I feed raw, minimally vaccinate, and approach everything holistically. I learned pretty much everything I know through my friendship with her through the past 9 years. After her puppies were born, I got to visit. We joked about my taking one, but I had Grover and that was plenty. :)

Then my world collapsed around me. The last night I had Grover, I sat on my living room floor holding him, asking him if those puppies came to be because "someone up there" knew that he wouldn't be around for me. I didn't get an answer... but after I lost him, I went back to play with the puppies again, and on the way home, saw an absolutely ENORMOUS rainbow, and it wasn't raining. I cried all the way home.

I went back for some "puppy therapy" again when I was feeling particularly lonely. I hate when I knock something over and no one "moof"s. It's AWFUL coming home and being able to actually swing the front door wide open, because no one was home during the day to dig all the beds and throw rugs up into a nest in front of the door. So, 9 baby bullies was the perfect therapy.

After much deliberation and soul searching, this past Saturday, I brought "her" home. =) And lucky, lucky me, I will have the most amazing puppyhood scrapbook the world has ever seen, as everyone involved is a photographer!!! :) How lucky am I?!

Her first photo at 10 days old (all courtesy of Paw Printz Photography)


Then at 3 weeks






These are from my first visit! (And I apologize that my focus is so crappy in so many of them. I wasn't really thinking like a photographer... I was just snapping like a puppy lover!)




And yes folks, my other friend Christie has confirmed that she is a CANON girl.


My next trip, which you've all already seen, but not with MY pup in mind...


She pretty much picked me that day.










Already working the camera.


A couple weekends ago...






Thankfully Liz and I are kindred spirits, and she sent me this, since the way everything timed out, I would miss getting her in her first Halloween costume!




Christie sent this to me one day and I wondered what I was getting myself into...


And finally, her pick-up day!


I love you Mom!


And Dad, you're the coolest...


Let's try a family portrait... whatdya say?


OK, everybody look at Julia, ready one two three!


Yeah, notsomuch.


Home, and happy as a clam. Like she's always been here.


Dragging all her toys into her crate


Claiming her spot on my lap already.


Loving her first Jolly Ball from Auntie Christie!


And REALLY loving Grandpa because he let's her CHEW ON HIM.


Can you just see the attitude?!


All tuckered out and snoring...


So, Grover's torch will be passed on. She will be photographed within an inch of her life and smothered with love. And in case you couldn't tell, I still haven't decided what her name is! =) So don't ask!!! Hahaha...